Shoes
UPS delivered a box to my house the other day. I had no idea what was in it since I didn't remember ordering anything.
I brought the box inside and opened it up. Inside the box I found a pair of Teva shoes. I DO NOT remember ordering them. I think I might have a problem!
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not sorry I ordered them. The price is great. I only buy things like this on clearance so that's not a problem but still... I should remember doing the shopping and buying. Shouldn't I???
Maybe I need some kind of Internet shopping 12-step program. They must have programs like that out there somewhere.
In any case, here's what they look like. They're nice. Just the sort of thing I wear.
I just wish I remembered buying them.
I really do find it a mite troubling... and what in hell is "spider rubber?"
I brought the box inside and opened it up. Inside the box I found a pair of Teva shoes. I DO NOT remember ordering them. I think I might have a problem!
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not sorry I ordered them. The price is great. I only buy things like this on clearance so that's not a problem but still... I should remember doing the shopping and buying. Shouldn't I???
Maybe I need some kind of Internet shopping 12-step program. They must have programs like that out there somewhere.
In any case, here's what they look like. They're nice. Just the sort of thing I wear.
I just wish I remembered buying them.
I really do find it a mite troubling... and what in hell is "spider rubber?"
Comments
Hmmmm....
Imagine that. What a nice feeling it is. Next time you see me, when I say hello you'll remember that good feeling and you will want to buy me things online. Because when you do buy me things online, you feel that a heavy weight has been lifted from your shoulders. I'll say hello and you will feel as light as a feather... as if you are floating on air.
Why don't you sit here a moment and think about that before you go back to work?
I wear a size 9, by the way.
I think I might worry if I ordered something I had NO memory of, Dave. Maybe you were up late at night and did it?
Lyrics here:
Vegematic: Steve Goodman
Fell asleep last night with the T-V on. Oh, what a dream I had.
I dreamed I answered every single one of those late night mail order ads.
And four to six weeks later, much to my surprise,
The mailman came to my front door, and I couldn't believe my eyes
When he brought the Vegematic, and the Pocket Fisherman too,
Illuminated illustrated history of life,
And Boxcar Willie with a Ginzu knife,
A bamboo steamer, and a Garden Weasel too,
And a tie-dyed, dayglow souvenir shirt from Six Flags Over Burbank.
The doorbell rang all morning and into the afternoon.
I shook with fright as it rang all night to the light of the Master Card moon.
There was Parcel Post in the pantry, and UPS in the hall,
C O D's to the ceiling, and I just couldn't pay for it all.
I got the egg scrambler, with a Seal-a-Meal carrying case,
A set of presidential commemorative plates
So I could eat my eggs off the President's face,
A Minute Mender, and a needle that'll knit or crochet,
And an autographed photograph of Rin Tin Tin at Six Flags Over Burbank.
(same chords as 2nd verse:)
I remembered I was dreaming, so I gave a mighty cheer.
When I awoke, it was no joke, 'cause all that shit was here.
So if you fall asleep with the TV on, let me tell you what to do:
Tear the telephone out of the wall unless you want it to happen to you.
You'll get the Vegematic, and the Pocket Fisherman too,
Illuminated illustrated history of life,
And Boxcar Willie with a Ginzu knife,
A bamboo steamer, and a smokeless ashtray too
And an all expenses paid weekend for three at Six Flags Over Burbank.