Some jokes to lighten a Thursday afternoon...
Once upon a time in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny
and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from
One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest and the snake was
slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and
fell down. This of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.
"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt
you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In
fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."
"It's quite OK," replied the snake. "Actually my story is much the same
as yours. I too have been blind since birth and also never knew my
mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you and work out
what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."
"Oh, that would be wonderful." replied the bunny.
So the snake slithered all over the bunny and said, "Well, you're
covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches and
you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."
"Oh, thank you, thank you!", cried the bunny with obvious delight. The
bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my
paw and help you the same way that you've helped me."
So the bunny felt the snake all over and remarked, "Well, you're smooth
and slippery, you have a forked tongue and no backbone. I'd say you must
be either a team leader or possibly someone in senior management".
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him"
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy"
A blonde woman calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over and help
me.... I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The woman says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster".
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box and then turns
to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster".
He held her
hand and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of tea".
After a few sips, he sighed and said, "Third... lets put all these
Cornflakes back in the box".
Male Australian Shepherd is the nanny at the zoo
2 hours ago