First Date PJ

It's been a month since Julie and I broke up and today I had my first date. The "PJ" refers to "post Julie." I'd love to wax rhapsodic and talk about what a wonderful experience it was.

I'd love to but it would be a friggin' LIE. Ye gods this was not good. The woman was a massive emotional bleeding wound. Her ex-husband had done a financial and emotional whoop-ass on her and she just couldn't stop talking about it.

Yikes. I hope this isn't what dating is like. Those 4 months with Julie are looking better and better. As is, I don't know if I'll ever dare scoot out of my den here at home and go on another date. Anyone out there just want a casual sexual relationship? (girls only please)

I hope you know I'm kidding. Sex is kinda nasty with all those liquids being tossed around. I only go through with that stuff for someone I really care about a lot. Or if she has huge... but I digress.

How's that for a scary sight? I decided to go for a hike after the date (which took 4 entire hours---and believe me, I wasn't the one doing the talking!) to clear my head and soul. *whew* But since I wasn't exactly wearing hiking togs, I sweated like a horse. And not a horse in good shape either. As you can see by my heavy breathing and sweaty shirt, I wasn't looking very good at the end.

Please excuse the less than ideal angle. I had my camera---which was working most of the time, it only had about 20 minutes of not working during the hike---propped up on the back end of my car and used the timer to take this picture. I'm lucky I'm even in the shot since I was just guessing as to where to stand.

Oh, and my belly isn't quite as big as it looks there. The sweat over my shelf belly emphasizes the lighter colored shirt below and thus makes my belly look bigger. And I'm sticking to that story, dammit!


Carmi said…
Sweating is a sign of good health. You look just fine, my friend. And if I could send you some happies - or someone who "gets" what you bring to the table, please know I would.

I'm inspired by your ability to find humor in a situation most others would simply write off as forgettable. Damn cool.

(And your perspectives on perspective? You're right, you know. Camera angles, colors and lighting can do much to completely change how a photo is perceived. Even as you explain it, you're infinitely ahead of pretty much everyone I saw at the grocery store today. Nothing to worry about.)
GA Girl said…
Huh - I sort of thought Julie might be 'the one' - you seemed to have so much in common: screwed up family, cooking and eating, not much ambition, wise mouth...I could go on and on :-) Sorry it didn't work out.
utenzi said…
Thanks, Carmi. You're always encouraging. And coming from someone of your accomplishments it means a lot.

GG, I think you might have Crazy Julie confused with this last women I dated, also named Julie. This Julie has a normal family, doesn't have a wise mouth that I recall, nor are there ambition problems. She does like to cook and CJ didn't but all the other aspects decribe CJ, not Julie.

No, GG, there's always only been one woman out there that was truly for me. But that's water long long under the bridge. I've not seen her in years.
GA Girl said…
Whoops -my error about the Julies.

Didn't you used to date someone from where you used to live - but that didn't work out due to the stock tech crash? I bet she was the one...
Teresa said…
LOL. The comments are better than the post! Ignore GG -- as if you didn't know to do that on your own. I know who the "one" is -- it's neither Julie. But it's interesting that others that should know you better than I don't know it. Hmmmm...

I would have believed that you were sweating like a non-so-in-shape horse. I REALLY didn't need to see it! Men!!!
utenzi said…
Bad GG! Julies should not get confused or conflated. And betting is bad for you.

I don't think you know, Tazz. But I could be wrong. I look forward to hearing your guess.
jan said…
The camera always adds 10 pounds, but photoshop can get rid of them. :-)
Cynnie said…
oh lord, Ive been on dates with men like that..
anytime a man refers to his ex as a bitch or cunt..its time for me to run like the wind.
if you are so traumatized after a relationship that you can't stop talking about it ..
take a break..
damn, once i took 3 years off the dating stuff just to heal.
I like me ..I had fun dating myself :)

good for you for taking a hike ..
clear the bad air..

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