cats are evil

Cat owners, by and large, are a gullible group. They believe their cute little kitty to be all peaches and cream. So sweet that butter wouldn't melt on their little tongues. Well, I'm here to set you straight.

Check out exhibit one over there to the left. Goes by the name of Roscoe and looks harmless enough. Even pleasant, perhaps. But beneath that seemingly nice visage is the collective nastiness of the depths of Hell. Be wary!

I know this is going to be a hard sell. Too many people have been brainwashed by felines. Minds that were once sharp are now out buying catnip and little feathery toys and not clearly remembering why such things are a high priority now. I tell you, the cats are in charge of many households. Be very wary!

Here's the proof below. I caught this picture in an unguarded moment. Maybe the demonic agent was reporting back to his masters way down below--I do seem to remember smelling a faint bitter odor of brimstone--but for whatever reason the mask was off and you could see the true feline face without the cute mask that you usually see.

Beware the cat, I tell you!

Roscoe does look a little freaky in that picture. After that one, I decided I definitely needed the flash.


kenju said…
First: have you been sneaking into my house and photographing my cat?

Second: if that cat is hellish it is because he is a male. My two girls are sweet as angels all the time!!
Teresa said…
LOL. Cat owners aren't all that gullible. They know their cat's nature. Some of the lure is taming the wild beast.

I had a truly wild cat, but he was just misunderstood. The odd thing about him was that he wasn't fooling me at all. He'd attack and bite me (a sign of love, I think!), but be most charming around visitors. No one who didn't know him well believed some of my stories about this cat... but I knew and understood him. Not evil at all!
utenzi said…
Tazz, fellow traveler of evil. ;-)
Matthew Didier said…
I watched a wonderful documentary a while back on domestic house cats basically telling it like it is... that they are excellent killing machines who are (usually) protected in their homes so they have very few natural predators...


Well, this would explain why our youngest, Annie, the other day ended up sleeping on my chest... she basically told me that I had best look after my business suits hanging in the closet or "the claws" would be out... the ultimatum was "sharp claws on wool or..." and she raise a paw to her lips, extended a claw near her chin, "One-Billion-Dollars!"

Yup. Evil.
Oreo said…
Ok, that pictor, HAHAHAHAHAHA!! The rest of yore post...WHAT??? Am you crazee? We don brain wash peepoles into doin our bidding....DO we Dave??? Huh? DO we? :)
utenzi said…
Any chance you can bribe her with a few mice, Matthew? I've heard that cats don't count well so you might be able to fudge a little on the dollar amount.

Oreo, I had a feeling you might not be completely honest in your response! LOL Of course you might be one of the genuinely sweet cats that the nasty demons imitate. Sure!
Bob-kat said… are you saying that those aren't ears but horns?!! LOL! I wouldn't call my cat evil as such, more pesky. Of course, he always looks like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth! Maybe I just have a penchance for evil animals?
squirrel said…
I love this post! I totally agree about the cat thing but I also think dogs (especially chihuahuas!) are linked to hell. LOL
Sorry I didn't get to have you as a renter this time around please try again next time!
srp said…
Now you really have gone astray... like our dog Max did on Saturday. Not one of my cats would run away and forget where home was.

Cats are better at sizing up human beings than humans are. They can sense when someone doesn't appreciate cats and will use that to their advantage.

A dog is like a liberal. He wants to please everybody. A cat doesn't need to know that everybody loves him.
- William Kunstler

But if you do really like a cat, he will be a welcome companion.

BTW, I am not letting my crew see this post... you will hurt their feelings.
Matthew Didier said…
Gotta "pimp" one of my favourite blogs... and it was pictures of his cat that got me hooked... The Tethered Cow at has some "real cat pictures everyone should see"...

Allow me to post some samples...
Kristi Mantoni said…
Ms. Clayton is a source of great joy and great pain in my house. She will be sweet as pie and the next second she's sinking her teeth into your arm. I'm thinking of performing an exorcism. Anybody know a good priest?
rosemary said…
Be careful....Roscoe just emailed Sohpie and there is a plot in the works...something about owning a new human and taking over two states in different parts of the US.
anaglyph said…
Oh, there's no question about it. Cats are EVIL.

I have evidence...
Yaeli said…
Have you seen Robin Williams' piece about cats being drag queens?
Very funny!
LOL, LOl...Well, Dave..You LOVE CATS! I'm tired of hearing otherwise...face it, own it, YOU LOVE CATS.
It is your friggin' camera that got in the way here, my dear....!

And FYI: It's SWEETIE, not Snowball. And he NEVER goes out of the house. Not up here in these hills where there are all sorts of creatures who are just doing their natural thang....! We pretend we love on the 98th floor of a 'High Rise' Skyscraper in NYC....(The streets are alive there with horrendous mechanical anumals...)

Give Roscoe his due, my dear Dave...It is really amusing how you bad mouth felines....HA HA HA!
Cravey said…
I checked with my dog.
He concurs.

You two should totally hang out.
craziequeen said…
Dave - COOOOL evil cat :-)

Pandora is sleeping away her ancient and toothless days, dreaming of her heyday as a killing machine.
Charlie, who is most definitely the spawn of Satan, is probably digging up my carpet somewhere.

Like Naomi's Sweetie, mine don't go out.

srp said…
Oh! Dear! Did we all speak too soon of the wonderful nature of cats? I am beginning to think that the cat posted here has taken its revenge and eaten Dave!

Either that or something really interesting is going on at the lab.
Anonymous said…
Sometimes I think that people aren't cat owners. Rather, cats are people owners!

Ari (Baking and Books)
Noi said…
Haha! Do not blame the poor cat for the blur picture! Blame it on the photographer!

Cats are such darlings...cant live without them;) They can actually sense when people do not like them..thus your encounters with the cat are purely predictable. lol!


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